Secret and lies kills relationship problems

secret and lies kills relationship problems

But when it comes to your relationship, you kinda have to open up. Read on for some more secrets that can cause problems in your relationship. on often express that the secrecy and lying about the infidelity was almost as the other knowing is a secret that almost always destroys relationships," says. Advice from the man who can predict divorce in per cent of couples that suggest there are problems in the relationship that could lead to divorce. .. ' repair attempts': these are a "secret weapon" according to Gottman. Consequence of lying and deception - loss of trust, betrayal of trust - detailed explanation. On the other hand, while deception destroys trust, our relationships survive, Overall, using deception, even when it is not detected, can cause problems. Ask an Expert · Online Quizzes · Common Questions · Secrets Revealed.

When this happens, jealousy, possessiveness insecurity and distrust can cause us to warp and misuse our relationships. An example of this might be a woman whose boyfriend gets so jealous that he forbids her to be alone with other men. Another example may be a man whose partner feels so insecure that she demands to be constantly reassured of his love and attraction to her. This type of restrictive situation can become a hotbed for dishonesty.

secret and lies kills relationship problems

The woman may lie about time alone she spent with a male friend or co-worker, or the man may lie about an attraction he is starting to feel for another woman.

When we treat our partners with respect and honesty, we are true not only to them but to ourselves. We can make decisions about our lives and our actions without compromising our integrity or acting on a sense of guilt or obligation.

secret and lies kills relationship problems

When we restrict our partners, we can compromise their sense of vitality, and we inadvertently set the stage for deception. The more open we are with each other, the cleaner and more resilient our relationships become. Conversely, the more comfortable we become with keeping secrets, the more likely we become to tell bigger and bigger lies.

When an affair occurs, denial is an act of deception that works to preserve the fantasy that everything is okay. Admitting that something is not okay or that you are looking for something outside the relationship is information that your partner deserves to know.

Emotions sprung from deception like suspicion and anger can tear a relationship apart, but more importantly they can truly hurt another person by shattering their sense of truth.

Relationships are contingent on honesty and openness. They are built and maintained through our faith that we can believe what we are being told. However painful it is for a betrayed spouse to discover a trail of sexual encounters or emotional attachments, the lying and deception are the most appalling violations.

An ideal relationship is built on trust, openness, mutual respect and personal freedom. But real freedom comes with making a choice, not just about who we are with but how we will treat that person.

secret and lies kills relationship problems

There is a tendency to want to lie every time you find yourself in a jam because for you telling a lie is easier than telling the truth. And the problem arises when you tell too many lies as these lies may become difficult to contain.

secret and lies kills relationship problems

Simply put, one lie equals more lies and not only that, lies grow over time as it becomes harder and harder for you to keep your story straight. Lying hurts the ones you care about the most When you tell a lie, your intention is never to hurt anyone but to instead get yourself out of a sticky situation.

Deception and the Destruction of Your Relationship

But lies do hurt. By telling a loved one a lie, they will feel betrayed by you and it is this feeling of betrayal that can lead to a breakdown in communication, making them feel even more vulnerable than they already are! Lies can permeate the other aspects of your life without you even knowing it Many of you might believe that if you tell a lie in your personal life that that is where it stops. Lies can transcend other aspects of your life without you even knowing it.

The fact of the matter is that lying and getting away with it makes you feel invincible and so you are more likely to want to lie even more.

secret and lies kills relationship problems

Lying has serious consequences Many partners believe that when they tell a lie, especially a little white one, that nothing will become of it.