A Son’s Advice for Single Mothers: 5 Ways to Raise a Man — The Lives of Men
Mar 21, Strive to resolve your issues about men and relationships, especially if you became a single mom under excruciating circumstances – like if. Through this exercise, I put together a few guidelines for dating a single mom. help bond two people, your relationship with my son helps bond me with you. Apr 25, How does a single mother destroy her son? Boys need that relationship with their father to gain a sense of themselves and to understand.
Let me count the ways: Speaking negatively about their father. One half of that child is the father and when he hears his mother saying negative things about him he usually the boy grows up doubting himself. That they need to change a part of themselves to get approval of his angry mother. Saying negative things about men. And they express that hatred about every man they come in contact with.
Hearing these negative statements and seeing these misandristic actions about men and regarding men make little boys afraid of embracing their masculinity and their male identity. One of the easiest ways to turn a boy into a Mangina is to have him constantly hear numerous negative statements about men from his mother. When a boy hears that his mother hates men, he resolves to not be like them.
Which is simply self-hatred. One of the most dangerous things Single mothers indirectly teach their children is to disrespect male authority.
Boys growing up to disrespect of their fathers have no respect for all other men in society. Teaching their sons to disrespect male authority and male authority figures. When a mother teaches her son to have no respect for the authority of their fathers, it teaches them that men are not be respected.
That can get him into trouble when he runs into male authority figures such as supervisors and police officers when he gets older. This is why many boys who come from single parent homes have a hard time adjusting to the real world. Projecting anger at the father onto the son.
What moms misunderstand about sons - Focus on the Family
Oftentimes these emotionally abusive blows knock boys down for the count emotionally before they even get up to become men. These hostile and negative statements from a single mother can force boys to withdraw socially, and erect emotional walls. These walls prevent these boys from connecting with others and forming healthy relationships when they get older.
Not allowing their father to see them. Nor can she raise a boy to become a man. Boys need that relationship with their father to gain a sense of themselves and to understand their masculinity and male identity.
7 Things Single Moms Do That Can Ruin Their Sons - The Kids Tips & Advice | badz.info
Without that relationship they often grow up lost and confused about their identity as a man. Bringing in substitutes for a father. Only he can meet the emotional needs of that boy and because half of that boy is based on who he is and because he has some understanding of who the mother is. Single mothers are the biggest enablers of bad behavior in boys. When their sons do wrong, they make excuses for them. And when they fail in life, they bail them out.
Thanks to their coddling, their sons never grow up learning they have to take responsibility for their actions. Oftentimes, the sons of single mothers often grow up spoiled with a sense of entitlement and a belief that the world owes them something.
That makes them impossible adults to deal with. Along with coddling, the most damaging thing single mothers do to kids is inconsistently disciplining them. With an emotional single mother there is no plan of action to correct the bad behavior in their sons or to educate them on what they are doing is wrong. So the bad behavior often continues well into their adulthood And because boys never learn that for every action there will be the same reaction every time they never grow up to learn how to take responsibility for their actions.
7 Things Single Moms Do That Can Ruin Their Sons
Teaching boys to be emotional. This leads to them not being able to cope with conflict in life. A boy has to grow up to learn discipline and self-control in order to navigate life in the real world.
He thinks about the long-term ramifications of his actions and the impact on others. And when he acts on those feelings, he often says and does things he regrets. A man who has no control over his emotions is more prone to go into a rage where he beats a woman who disagrees with him or says no to him, get into fights with men over silly things like a basketball game or a look in his direction.
This loss of self-control can cause him to be seen as weak by other men and make him a target for the abuses of both predatory men and women. Not teaching their sons what boundaries are. And part of the healthy establishment of structure is establishing boundaries. Boundaries are imaginary lines in the sand that keep boys safe.
- What moms misunderstand about sons
They keep boys from going too far and doing things that will hurt them. And a strong father teaches their sons what boundaries are at an early age. Boys who grow up without boundaries cross lines.
They take dangerous unnecessary risks. Not teaching their sons coping skills. When their girlfriends leave them, they stalk and kill them. When they lose a job they go on a shooting rampage. And when life just gets too damn hard for them they commit suicide. Establishing a co-dependent relationship. One of the most destructive things Single mothers do to their sons is try to turn them into a surrogate husband. When you criticize his first attempts at speaking into the mic you may as well unplug it for the rest of his life because he will have a very tough time trying it again.
Heavily criticizing your son for the sake of toughening him up against a mean, cruel world backfires because he will expect the world to reject his ideas and, ultimately, who he is. Even if you do not agree with his choices, he needs to know that you respect his ability to choose.
The Effects of Single Parents on Boys
Teaching him that women are evil Women who remember their scheming and conniving days are apt to warn their sons about women who are just like them.
A mother will warn her son that women will try to trap him by having a baby, the same way she tried to trap his father. Engaging in verbally or physically combative relationships Your son will watch and emulate your relationship style.
If he watches you argue, insult, scream and punch the people you love, he will believe that this is a normal relationship and will only be satisfied when he has the same type of interaction in his own life. Coddling your son He needs to know how to shoulder this world without your presence.
Sometimes we understand that our kids may need an extra kiss or an extra-long hug after a rough day, but caring for a teenager or young adult as though he is still an infant will make him act like an infant in grown up settings. Instead, allow him to get dirty, be hurt and experience disappointment.