Reba tv show meet the parents quotes

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reba tv show meet the parents quotes

"Reba" Meet the Parents (TV Episode ) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Watch Reba - Season 1, Episode 11 - Meet the Parents: Reba's parents (guest See All Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions Trivia & Quotes. Meet The Parents Script taken from a transcript of the screenplay and/or the Ben Stiller movie. Finally, the Meet The Parents script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of Look at the light coming out of the earth Show me a man who's gentle and kind And I'll show you a loser .. I've seen these things advertised on TV.

Reba Hart has to deal with her divorce from a cheating husband, the new pregnant wife he left her for, her oldest daughter's teenage pregnancy and hasty marriage, and being a newly single parent to three kids, all the while cracking numerous jokes at the ex's new wife. Despite its slapstick premise, the show exhibited a surprising amount of genuinely touching emotion. Now has a characters page Advertisement: This show provides examples of: Part of the first season involved the Harts going to court-ordered therapy after a knock-down drag-out fight at divorce court.

This all but disappeared after the first season, until much later in the show's run the fifth season. Kyra was absolutely nowhere to be seen for the vast majority of Season 5 2 out of 22 episodesdue to Scarlett Pomers's battle with anorexia though some have speculated that was just a convenient excuse for network execs to focus on other characters like Jake at the expense of her character.

Lampshaded when she returned in Season 6: Kyra walks into the house after long absence; audience applause Van: Where have you been? I went to get something to eat. And then hinted at once more: Where are you going? Just going to grab something to eat. Okay, see you next year. Brock's father John D. The problem was that John D. Van's parents, but especially Dan, Van's father.

In their debut appearance, they bribe Van with a new truck in order to convince him to leave Cheyenne and move back in with them. Van is so afraid of his father that he can barely even talk to him.

It's not until Dan badmouths Reba that Van finally stands up to his father and calls him out on how he's done nothing but bully Van. Later seasons see Van trying to reconcile with his parents, but none of his attempts would last. Brock's mother can't seem to learn Barbra Jean's name to the point that she never sticks to one misnaming. Hearing the right name doesn't make her correct it, probably because she hates the woman.

Cheyenne constantly is drowning herself in alcohol after Van's football career was completely stopped due to his spinal condition getting worse, but she moves on after many pep talks and encouragement.

She briefly falls into Smoking Is Not Cool to distract herself from drinkingmuch to Reba's chagrin. Van never had an alcohol problem and initially was covering up for Cheyenne, but when he during a party tried to prevent Reba from drinking a single cup of alcohol all because she had taken a pill from Cheyenne's purse meant to discourage drinking instead of healing stress, Cheyenne asked him why not just toss the wine down the drain if he was feeling tipsy from drinking too much.

Van really cannot pass up on drinking too much. In the episode "For Sale, Cheap" Barbra Jean suggests that they should do Donkey Basketball at the next school auction, this is portrayed as another one of her crazy ideas, but as it turns out Donkey Basketball does in fact exist. Reba's trademark Oklahoma drawl, naturally. The rest of the cast did seem to be trying to affect Southern accents during the first season Barbra Jean, especially.

Most didn't work very well, so by the second season, they just gave up. A Mistake Is Born: In an episode in Season Two, during a heated argument with Van and Cheyenne over their recent pregnancy scare, Reba forbids them from having another baby in her house and says she will not let them make the "same mistake" twice I.

Cheyenne and Van are obviously hurt from her calling their daughter Elizabeth this and they call her out on it, though she denies it at first and this prompts them to move out. At the start of the sixth season, Barbra Jean loses a lot of weight, causing Van to gawk at her a lot more, upsetting Cheyenne. Barbra Jean's attempt at making Cheyenne feel better does no favor for the latter. Don't get upset, Cheyenne. You're like a bleached-out Melissa Peterman as Barbra Jean, though they only added the actual "and" credit to her name for the final two seasons.

Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Barbra Jean's account of a private investigator she hired to tail Brock during their separation: Also, Reba about Kyra's boyfriend's parents: They could be drunks, or convicts, or telemarketers for all I know!

As the Good Book Says Parodied in the episode "And God Created Van. This horrifies his very conservative family, especially Barbra Jean. She brings the Bible to him, saying she found a passage that might help him. If you look here at Matthew 12 Verse 3 "And Jesus says unto his disciples Do you want to spend eternity in a fiery damnation?!

And a second later, we saw where she got the idea. Barbra Jean, you're not gonna get anybody to believe by hitting them with a Bible.

Oh, that's how my daddy did it. Really all over the place: In the last few seasons, Brock and Barbra Jean had their marriage collapse. He moved back out, they were constantly arguing, and Brock felt the only real way to salvage it was to pull The Baby Trap on Barbra Jean having his vasectomy reversed without telling her.

Any real mention of Reba and Brock's marriage implied it was pretty bad as well, especially during the end. Alongside Brock's infidelity, Brock frequently skipped out on his and Reba's marriage counseling appointments, Reba was put on anti-depressants, and she talks so badly about the end of their marriage, you almost wonder why she didn't thank Barbra Jean for putting their marriage out of its misery.

In all honesty, the healthiest marriage on this show was Van and Cheyenne, believe it or not, who seemed rather stable under all their arguing. They argue often, but there's no question about the authenticity of their love. One episode during Season 5 has each of them two taking turns complaining about the other in a therapist's office, embracing each other when they finish, and then getting told off for arguing soon after in the waiting area of said therapist's office and at the parking lot outside.

Played for Laughsit's not so much "berserk" as "reacting strongly". In one episode, Reba and Van see a therapist named David. It's "David", not "Dave"! Some might say this is more a case of Insistent Terminology. Surprisingly, Brock doesn't put up with overt sexist comments.

His chauvinistic father-in-law told one offensive joke too many and it led to Brock telling him off. Don't call Barbra Jean "Blondzilla". Reba made that mistake and Barbra Jean was angry enough to hit her back, when she normally takes Reba's abuse and is intimidated by her. Van often mentions food and being hungry whenever he's on-screen. Reba in the episode "The Blond Leading the Blind", during which she tries to take care of herself while still recovering from an eye surgery "tries" being the operative word here, as drinking water out of a potted plant and spreading peanut butter on a sponge don't count as proof of the ability to successfully take care of oneselfwith Barbra Jean attempting to help Reba without Reba knowing.

Cheyenne blondJake brunetteand Kyra redhead. Van in "The Stakes Are High". Bow Chicka Wow Wow: Spoken as "bow chicka bow bow" as substitute for "sex", but the message still applies.

After the school charity auction held by Reba and Barbra Jean turns out to be a big hit, Brock mentions that tradition dictates a celebration party must be held to commemorate the sponsors, where Reba is obligated to congratulate Barbra Jean and vice versa.

Reba tells Brock there's nothing she'd rather do, but waits till Brock leaves before whispering to herself: Cheyenne and Kyra both show shades of it. During the show, Cheyenne pulls herself out of that trope and ends up becoming a good wife and mother. It's commented on multiple times that, for all the misery Cheyenne endured- her teen pregnancy, a bout with alcoholism, shouldering massive responsibility when Van's football plans are ruined by injury- she came out on the other side a much better person.

Meet the Parents (2/11) Best Movie Quote - Puff the Magic Dragon (2000)

Kyra comments how Cheyenne went from being a spoiled, shallow, superficial princess to a caring wife and mother. Later, when Cheyenne considers becoming a dentist, Reba tries hard to talk her out of it, believing she's irresponsible and flaky, only to change her mind when she sees how responsible Cheyenne is in taking care of Elizabeth.

Later on, when she does abandon dentistry to become a drug counselor, it was portrayed in a sympathetic light as having her priorities change from "making a lot money" to "helping people.

I got my gum back. Barbra Jean is nearly the object of all of Reba's snarky remarks. Brock is hit with this the worst as he's the object of physical and emotional abuse from nearly all the cast members.

To add hilarity to his injuries, Reba's parents can only glare his way but are able to warm up to Barbra Jean, his mother dislikes how he ended up marrying a bimbo, Barbra Jean's father has many implications of wanting to shoot him even more when Brock stood up to him about misogynist jokes about Big Daddy's own wifeand Barbra Jean's brother Buzzer has such a deep and scary My Sister Is Off-Limits! Cannot Keep a Secret: Barbra Jean is very lousy in keeping secrets under wraps from others.

Reba TV Show Episode Guide

And if she barely hears said secret is a surprise, she will do everything to hear about it. Three particular occasions play this up more seriously. When Kyra planned to move out with her and Brock at her new house. Barbra Jean could not stop giggling and laughing like crazy whenever she was questioned about her odder behavior until she broke.

When Reba and Brock tried to hide the Cayman incident from the Intimidating Revenue Serviceneither of them told on the other. Barbra Jean, completely hysteric about the heavy pressure, casually revealed the issue during a harmless coffee break with an agent outside their private conversations, landing them all in a heavy debt that almost forced Brock to move to Las Vegas.

When Jake didn't want Barbra Jean to know about his very complicated and elaborate Halloween prank on her mother, who considered Halloween pranks as a revered tradition in the family and lost faith in the lack of interest from everyone else.

Everyone on the plan knew that Barbra Jean would have ruined everything from the start if she had known, so her obliviousness to the whole thing only added to it, albeit in her own exaggerated way. Barbra Jean's announcement upon her entry though this lasts only one episode gets cut off by Reba once: And I'm — Reba: Oh, shut up and grab a doughnut!

During the second season. Barbra Jean most definitely alongside her family her brother Buzzer is just strange and violent just like their father being a Gun Nutand Van occasionally as well. Cold Turkeys Are Everywhere: In one episode where Barbra Jean goes on a diet.

One example involves her making a comment about Jake: Jake once gripes to Cheyenne about having Kyra as babysitter because Kyra makes him watch "The Wiggles" with his niece. Kyra, standing right behind Jake, replies: I got Barney tapes here. At the end of the selfsame episode, when she does it once too many for Reba to tolerate any further, Reba threatens to sell Kyra's guitar.

Kyra, not wishing to run that risk, puts her guitar away. After Reba wrecks RhondaVan gets back at her by calling Barbra Jean to tell her of Reba's temporary blind condition, knowing full well that she would rush to Reba's aid despite Reba's dislike of having Barbra Jean around.

Barbra Jean is usually good at cooking, but she falls into this in one episode where she bakes a sugar-free bran cake with cottage cheese as frosting.

A hot cup of dirt. During the first season, Reba and Lori Ann have a makeover once. They end up having more makeup on their faces than they'd like. Now we know why the makeovers were free. My last car didn't have this much paint in it. The whole show can be this. Especially if you've been close to someone with a teen pregnancy or messy divorce and know how much emotional baggage there can be.

Kyra is downright adorable during the few times she cries. Brock claims this trope regarding a suspicious injury near his right ear in an episode in which Barbra Jean's dog goes missing. It turns out the dog bit him, but he insists he never hurt the dog and is soon cleared of the charge. At the beginning of the fifth-season episode "Reba the Landlord", Barbra Jean, anticipating herself and Brock losing their home due to Brock's financial hardships, gives Reba a going-away present.

Reba's reaction, upon seeing the present Barbra Jean gives her, hints at this trope: Sometimes Van does this as well. One example takes place during the fifth-season episode "Reba and the One", where Barbra Jeans drops in to check on Reba while she's out on a date she's not, but her family doesn't know yet when Van is washing dishes. Is she on a date? I'm just prepping for surgery! Lori Ann, too see My Friends It is absolutely phenomenal what Reba can convey with merely a quirk of her eyebrow.

Mostly "I hate your living guts. Reba was trying to relax, and Barbra Jean was pestering her with a video camera. Brock tries to run her off to let Reba relax, and Barbra Jean dons one as she's threatening to rip out his beating heart to give to Reba.

Made even more effective since the POV switched to the handheld camera, which was pointing up Barbra Jean's nose, making her look even more terrifying. The fifth-season episode "Have Your Cake". The diet is primarily for Barbra Jean, but Cheyenne volunteers herself and Reba into it to show support for Barbra Jean.

Cheyenne, Van, and Barbra Jean. Cheyenne doesn't know what ditzy even means. Oh, okay, 'cause Pam said I should sleep in Debbie's room. Well, Debbie'll be sleeping here tomorrow. This way, you'll have more privacy, you'll have your own bathroom.

Just try not to flush the toilet. It's always a little quirky. I understand it's the st century, and you've probably had premarital relations with my daughter.

But under our roof, it's my way or the Long Island Expressway. Keep your snake in its cage for hours. At Atlantic American Airways, customer satisfaction always comes first. We are experiencing heavy call volume. Your call is very important to us. It will be answered in approximately minutes. Please press " " if you'd like to talk to a representative. Please call back-- Oh! I don't know what it is, but there's just something about him that's a little off. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack, you know we've been through this I think Greg-- he's a lovely young man. And, honey, Pam thinks he might be the one.

She said those exact words? I didn't tape record it, Jack, but that's the impression. What kind of a family doesn't have time to sit down for dinner?

Please try to enjoy the weekend, honey. Both our daughters are in love. That's what I'm worried about. Oh, geez, I just realized something.

Looking for something, Greg? Jesus, Jack, you scared me. I heard a noise, so I came down to see if everything was okay. I just-- I'm sorry. I saw a light on, and I kinda stumbled in. I didn't realize-- That's okay.

No, not at all. I mean, I mean-- I mean, this is great, though. I love this-- what you-- it's a cozy little nook. I noticed you were looking at that when I came in. It's an antique polygraph machine. Is that what that is? I've seen these before, but I never saw one actually up close.

Why don't you try that on? We'll have some fun. I'll show you how it works. You have nothing to hide. They're-- You'd be surprised how accurate they are.

They can tell fairly easily if someone's lying or not. Now I'm gonna ask you some questions, and all you have to do is answer "yes" or "no. Let's give it a whirl.

Did you fly on an airplane today? No, it was rare. It was a little rare for my taste. The needles are jumping. Have you ever watched pornographic videos? No, no, I'm just going over some of my answers from the polygraph test your dad gave me. Well, did you lie to him?

I mean-- Well, he asked me if we were living together, and-- What'd you tell him? Your mother walked in Is this how you'd react if I told you he shoved bamboo shoots up my fingernails? Or does he hook all your boyfriends up to his little machine?

Well, he doesn't need a machine. He's a human lie detector. Greg, my father was never in the rare flower business. That was just his cover. He was in the C. How could you not tell me this?

I wanted to, honey, but it was strictly He's in the C. He was a spy? He is a spy? No, he was more like a psychological profiler. They used him to interrogate suspected double agents in the company. I was scared of your dad back when I thought he was a florist. It's wonderful to know that I've actually got a C. You're doing great, okay? This is a lot to take in, honey.

Oh, I know, but you're doing fine. I'm not supposed to let the snake out of my cage. I told your dad I wouldn't touch you for hours. Okay, I'm not in junior high anymore, so-- No, no, no. I want to try to respect his rules, okay? Uh, why don't you go ahead and get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning. Pam told me she let you in on a little secret of mine last night. Well, as long as you can keep your mouth shut for the rest of your life, you're in no immediate danger.

I'm just being humorous. But the fact is, Greg, with the knowledge you've been given, you are now on the inside of what I like to call Let's go inside and have breakfast. Not at the table, honey, please. You must be Greg. Nice 'do, nice 'do. I'll do the intros. Greg, this is my sister, Debbie.

Nice to meet you. Oh, the bride to be. You can call me Bob Whoa, now, cut that out. You know, Greg's in medicine, too, Larry. Hey, why don't I get you a chair, Greg? So, you didn't want to go for the M.

No, I actually thought about becoming a doctor, but I decided it wasn't for me. Oh, he did more than okay. Why did you take the test if you weren't planning on going to med school? Well, I wanted to keep my options open, but in the end, nursing was a better fit for me. It gives you the freedom to work in several different areas of medicine. Wasn't your friend Andy supposed to be here by now? I thought Deb told you. Andy threw out his back.

He can't make the wedding. Now I have to reconfigure the whole procession. Um, Bob, why doesn't Greg stand in for Andy, be the usher? Bob, Greg'll be your second usher. Yeah, yeah, okay, sure. Let's all finish up and get ready to go In that case, I'd better get upstairs Dina, thank you so much for breakfast.

Why didn't you wake me up? Don't worry about it. Tell that to Dr. Torquemada in there with the Grand Inquisition. Go take a shower, get dressed and come back down. No, I don't-- Come on. I just-- No, I don't feel comfortable wearing your dad's underwear. Okay, well, go wake up Denny and borrow some of his. You want me to go wake up your brother who I never met Top of the stairs, turn right.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What the hell you doing in here? I'm-- I'm Greg, Pam's friend. Were you just sniffing my boxers, dude? No, no, she said I could come up here, maybe borrow some clothes from you. Do me a favor. Yeah, so, it's all good. Dad keeps you guys under a pretty close watch, huh?

No, it's not that bad. Your little Pamcake's got it a lot worse than I do. You need some clothes. Yes, that would be-- that would be great. Glad to hook you up. Like what you done with the crib.

Yeah, I think these ought a do it. All right, here you go, chief. Thanks a lot, Denny. Oh, and don't worry about the little covert op, all right? I'll keep it on the lowdown. Larry, Linda, Debbie, Bob, honey. Now, I'm gonna activate the alarm. It'll go off in T minus seconds. I don't think I need a jacket. It's cold out, honey. Here, take Denny's jacket. Hey, Denny, I'm lending Greg your jacket, okay? Denny, how's the tux fit? Dad, uh-- What's that? I-It's a sculpture I found in Greg's jacket.

This isn't a sculpture, Denny. This is a device for smoking marijuana. I like the top hat. Can I talk to you for a minute? Did I not clearly explain the circle of trust to you, Greg? Mm, yeah, I think I got it. Then is there something you wanna tell me? Mm, l-l don't think so. Didn't we have a discussion yesterday in the car about this?

You mean me and Pam. Yes, I would love to talk to you about that. We're not talking about Pam. We're talking about you.

reba tv show meet the parents quotes

See, if I can't trust you, Greg, then I have no choice And once you're out, you're out. There's no coming back. Mm, well, I would definitely like to stay inside the circle.

Well, then, tell me the truth. Jack, I don't know what we're talking about. All right, now look, Focker, I'm a patient man. That's what months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you. But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.

I thought we were going to Kevin's house. This is Kevin's new house. Oh, this is a crazy house. Not bad, huh, Dad? Maybe he uses marijuana for medicinal purposes. People do that nowadays. Honey, this kid has been lying to us from the moment we met him. Get in some quality time with the boys? Uh-huh, yeah, it was fun. Listen, I hope this lunch isn't too weird for you. Q at Best Man's" be weird? I was sure I told you. Kevin is Bob's best man. This is his place. How does he know Bob?

I was really lucky I was able to salvage this wood Kevin, the house is amazing. This is where Maybe you should have gotten married here. All right, the sun is out, the grill is hot and the pool is luke. If I can interest you in a swim and a little B.

Q, just follow me. It must cost a fortune to heat this place. I don't know why I thought you knew. It-- It's not a big deal. If I can handle a weekend without sex and cigarettes, I think I can handle an afternoon with your ex-fianc? Now, for the floor that you're walking on, I chose this Bolivian wormwood. I think it works well in here. I have the Viking range here and the twin Sub-Z's.

Yeah, they open up right there. Oh, I get it. Yeah, kind of blend in. Are you a homeowner, Greg? No, no, I rent. So, things are going real, real well for you, aren't they, eh, Kevo? Gosh, things have been going so great lately. I got in early on some wireless I. What line of work are you in?

reba tv show meet the parents quotes

There are a lot of Benjamins to be made now with biotech stuff. I don't have to tell you that. You gotta strike while the iron's hot. That's great to give something back like that. I'd love to find time to do volunteer work. Just the other day I saw this golden retriever that-- He had like a gimp, and he couldn't really-- It made me feel terrible. I wish there was something I could do. Yeah, well, I get paid, but also it feels, you know, good too. So it's kind of an everybody wins.

What are you-- You're like a Wall Street trader? I mean, I'm willing to be painted with that brush. Yes, that's my day job. We got time, don't we, Jack? I want to show you what I'm really interested in.

It looks like somebody got an "A" in wood shop.

Reba (TV series)

I whittled that out of beech wood. So what got you into, uh, "carpentering"? He was a carpenter, and I just figured if you're gonna follow in someone's footsteps, who better than Christ? You're in good company. Well, I'm gonna head to the pool, but why don't you show Greg and Pam the gift?

I put a fresh coat of lacquer on this this morning, so bear with me with the fumes. The little holes are for candles.

And then later, they'll collect rainfall. Or you might call it a "ho-puh. I'm gonna take it over to the Byrneses', and tomorrow Robert and Debra will meet beneath it to become man and wife.

And later, when they purchase a home, maybe it will grace their garden. Well, that's my sappy, romantic idea. No, not too bad. Which isn't bad, considering I carved it all by hand from one piece of wood. Time to start the barbecue, big guy. I better get back to playing host. Okay, you guys, grab your suits, and I'll meet you down at the pool. I don't even have a suit with me. The airline lost my bag and-- [Jack] Pamcake, let's go. Mom's got your suit here.

You better get going. And, by the way, she just had the nicest things to say about you. Yeah, we had some good times together. Boy, she is a tomcat.

So, let me hook you up with some trunks, Gregger. I'm not gonna swim. I'm not taking no for an answer. What's it gonna be?

Ah-- How 'bout a little of both, K-Dog? I think they call that "the munchies. Hit the ball, Kev! Show 'em what you got! You gotta rush the net on defense. Don't be afraid of the ball. Greg is afraid of the ball. We're gettin' cold in here. If Florence Nightingale over here would play defense. Larry, keep floatin' where you are. Denny, take the deep shots. Greg, nobody's expecting much out of you. I'd have to be pretty high, but yeah.

"Reba" Meet the Parents (TV Episode ) - Full Cast & Crew - IMDb

I bet you would, Panama Red. You gotta spike those, Focker! You gotta spike those! Fire it up there, Focker! It's only a game, Focker! Deb, you can totally see Voit backwards on your forehead. Go over the song selection with Bob.

Are you a Mr. You go through it, make sure it's all there? I just wanna make sure you're okay since hitting the spike heard 'round the world. I'm really sorry about that. I don't know what got into me, Iceman. Is that a special thing Stop it. Top Gun was a very popular movie when Kevin and I dated. Do you want to be Maverick?

Is that what this is all about? I can't be Maverick. He used to be, but we can change that. Um, can he be Goose?

No, because Goose dies in the end. Honey, I don't really-- Greg, shut up. Jesus, Dad, you ever think of knocking? Not in my own den. What are you two doing in here? I'd say rounding - This is Greg's room, Dad. We're gonna use it for storage. Greg will stay in Debbie's room, and she'll bunk up with you tonight. I'll be right up. They found your suitcase. Hey, Jack, I don't quite know what happened back at the tux shop, but if I've given you the wrong impression regarding Pam in any way, I'm sorry.

I have nothing but the best intentions with Pam, and I-I just-- Actually, there's something in the suitcase here that I'm planning on giving her Did you flush this toilet?

Maybe Jinx flushed it. I saw little Jinxy come in last night, and he took a little squat and relieved himself. Jinx knows not to use that toilet, and even if he did, he'd never flush it.

You're really on a roll there, bud. In hours, I'm having a wedding here, so I need my cesspool pumped now! That smell, Bob, is our shit. Focker flushed the toilet in the den, so the septic tank is overflowing. Jack, I told you. Focker, I'm not gonna tell you again! Jinx cannot flush the toilet. He's a cat, for chris sakes! The animal doesn't even have thumbs, Focker. Over by the tree, right?

Not on the lawn! Stay where you are. I got my mojo workin' Just won't work on you I got my mojo workin' Just won't work on you Oh-- I know that's what I said I wanted, 'cause that's what I wanted. It is a black Samsonite suitcase. What I'm saying is, do you think it's possible that the Samsonite people, in some crazy little scheme to actually turn a profit, made more than one?

I am going to need your baggage claim number again. Could I talk to your supervisor? When he gets back, have him give me a call right away. It's a very important bag. I'm sure it is, sir. Don't ask me what it's for. I need you to do this thing. Please, I'm in a time situation here, so just do it. So the name's "Greg Focker"? Greg didn't ace his med school boards.

He never even took the goddamn MCATs. Oh, Jack, that's what you had your sources check out? What this poor boy did on some test scores? I bet he doesn't even have a real nursing degree.

A lot of these hospital workers are just pill poppers looking for easy access to ludes. We already know that he's been puffin' the magic dragon. I knew the little crack was lying. Come here, little Jinxy. He did not lie to me, Dad. He lied to you when I thought you should know the truth. I love you too much to see you get hurt. I don't care what your information says, Dad. Greg took the MCATs. All right, stand back.

Somebody call right away! We checked every yard, every car on the street. He's not up in any of the trees, Jack. We checked all the bedrooms. Jinx isn't up here. Yeah, none of the neighbors have seen him either. You tried to milk him, didn't you, you sick son of a bitch!

Honey, please calm down. How can I calm down What do you mean, "the ring bearer"? Your daddy didn't tell you? He taught Jinx to walk down the aisle with this little pillow. No, you didn't, Dad. You put this around the neck, and these ribbons are for the rings. Oh, for Chris sakes! Yeah, but now we have to postpone the rehearsal. Bob, you ride with me. Larry, you come with your car. We're gonna canvass the neighborhood.

Dee, ask O'Boyle to wait. If we're not back in an hour, we'll reschedule the rehearsal for the morning. We cannot cancel the rehearsal for some stupid cat!

How could you say that? That cat's been like a brother to you! We're supposed to let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet?

You're gonna fill in as the ring bearer for now. I'm not wearin' that stupid pillow thing on my head. You just go and wander the streets without food, water or toilet?

They brought in a Himalayan a little while ago. Uh, no, let me see that photo again. You gotta picture him without that stupid Santa cap. You see, in the picture, your cat has an all-black tail. And this one has a white tip. No, I'm sorry about that, chief. Looks just like him.

Except for that tail. Robert Banks-- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this beautiful day Robert Banks and Debra Byrnes in holy matrimony. This is a special day-- He found him! Look, Dad, it's Jinx. Oh, my little baby! Greg, thank you so much. This is so great. Gave us a little scare, huh? Oh For once in my life I got someone who needs me To Greg. He's in the restroom. Yes, I tried there.

I've tried every shelter on the north shore, okay? He's a brown-and-black Himalayan with an all-black tail. I'll call you back.

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Had to pay a little visit to the urinal fairy. I'm just glad I could help out. We never did get to finish that little "convo" back at the den. So, when you have a minute, there is still something I'd like to talk to you about. We'll get right to it as soon as we get back. You have my word.

I'm gonna hold you to that. Guess who's back in the circle of trust. Maybe I should ask him to dance. What do you think? I bet he could, uh, whittle a private little dance floor for the two of you. I saw some beech wood outside.

I shouldn't paint him with that brush, but-- Come on. Part of you wishes you ended up with him. Yes, he's very talented, but it would've never worked out.

I was never in love with Kevin. I'm in love with you. That's a good explanation. Thought you'd like that. I called you like half an hour ago.

Meet the Parents

Okay, I already-- I already described it. Uh, it's, uh-- It's brown It's Hank MacAtee from next door. You'll never guess who wandered over here this afternoon. Yeah, he's not wearing his collar, but, uh, I'm sure it's Jinxy.

Thought you might be worried, so just give me a jingle when you guys get home, and I'll bring the little rascal over. Okay, well, if you could just keep checking, please, and I'll call you back later. No, they're still looking. Hey, Jack, this is a great party. I guess sometimes these things sort of come together in their own kooky sort of way.

reba tv show meet the parents quotes

Yeah, it's kind of like the way you found Jinxy. You know, there's something about that ball of fur You haven't seen any of his latest tricks, have you?

Well, when we get back, I'll show you. We don't have to do it tonight. He's had a long day. I wouldn't want to-- No, I think he'd like to show you tonight. Why don't you give me the key and let me drive? Why don't I drive? It's a very expensive car.

I've always wanted to test-drive a Benz. Be my guest, Focker. Get in the car, honey. Get your seat belts on. Focker, Benz drives like a dream, Lar. Yeah, just trying to make good time.

What the heck is the matter with you? We're gonna be home. We're gonna get home. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! It's not the autobahn. You were supposed to make that left at the light, Focker. Who gave him the keys? Yeah, we've had enough excitement. It was the cat! Jinx, I'm gonna-- - [Shrieking] - Calm down! Cat got out, Jack! Greg, what's he talking about? Hank MacAtee called me a couple of hours ago and told me he found Jinxy.

He took his collar and put it on an impostor. Then he spray-painted his tail, and then he tried to beat us back here Please tell me that's not true, Greg. It was just a temporary solution until I could find the real Jinx.

That you set Kevin's altar on fire? Well, it wasn't intentional. I was chasing Jinx up onto the roof. I had a smoke, and I think I might have lit something that-- I don't know what happened. He put so much goddamn lacquer on that thing. It was an accident waiting to happen.

This is very disappointing, Greg. Get out of my house, Focker, and take your friend with you. So you lied to me about everything, huh, Greg? You lied about the cat, about the fire, about the MCATs. I didn't lie about the MCATs. Don't you see what's happening here? You did that to yourself. You didn't like me from the second I walked in here. I'm a very accepting person, Focker. All I ask for is honesty.

You wanna talk about truth and honesty, Jack? Okay, let's talk a little truth and honesty. Let's talk a little "Operation Ko Samui," Jack. What's he talking about, Dad? Yeah, that's weird, 'cause I thought there weren't any secrets I don't know what you're talking about.

Cat got your tongue? Hey, Pam, guess what. Daddy's planning a little covert operation in Thailand for the day after the wedding. Round and round we go, Jack. I bet everybody would love to hear about your rendezvous You know what I'm talking about. Where the guy gave you the passports and the documents. Or how about your little phone call in Thai? Jack can talk Thai. Jack talk Thai very well.

I'm sorry, Pam, but your dad is not retired. He's still very much in the C.

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You stupid son of a bitch! You just blew it! Ko Samui is an island off the coast of Thailand! That guy I was meeting in the parking lot is Thor Svenson, my travel agent. Thanks a lot, J. I just, um-- You know, if this nursing thing doesn't work out, Focker, I'd say you definitely have a career in espionage. Well, I guess I'm gonna go to the airport now. I guess you're gonna stay here.

Pam, l-- - Gaylord M. That's not what it says on the form.