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10 Reasons Why Gay Dating Is Really Hard | HuffPost

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Gay dating apps are plentiful, but which are the best? Still get opposite sex suggestions • Straight couples constantly ask for threesomes. Sure, there are plenty of gay dating sites out there — but's unique matching algorithms are designed to help you meet gay people online you'll be more compatible with to date. Unlike other gay dating services, offers exclusive Stir events where subscribers. An astonishing 60% of gay couples online met their partners over the internet. It's true, look at the video below. I don't know why this video of.

InOkCupid began offering their users more than a dozen different ways to identify.

This Gay Relationship: Meeting Other Monogamous Gay Male Couples

The app currently offers users 22 different genders and 13 orientations to choose from, and also includes helpful descriptions of each for folks who are unfamiliar with this kind of stuff. And unlike Tinder, OkCupid gives so much more room for people to write profiles, answer questions, and explain their possibly questionable worldview.

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While it's impossible for the app to screen out all the haters, you can get a decent sense of user's views on trans and queer people and whether they're gonna be an asshole because you love cable TV. It's free to download, but you'll have to pay to enjoy their Premium A-list features.

If you want more people to see your profile, you can pay to have it promoted like you would on Twitter. These single gay friends come with their own baggage, and will often project that we too need to sow our wild oats. Every where we turn, it almost feels like we have everything telling us not to commit. We are afraid of commitment.

Getting married wasn't an option for our community until very recently, so commitment from a legal standpoint was actually far from a lot of our minds.

This in some subconscious way made us less serious when it came to dating.

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It's easier to just keep reverting back to all the other points that making dating hard than it is to try and work on something with someone we thought we really liked. Dating is hard, being in a couple is hard, but it shouldn't be this hard, right? We let our minds drift, we make assumptions, and half the time we aren't even communicating how we are feeling with our partners.

Jealousy plagues our community. Yes, not all of us are jealous, or at least to an unhealthy point, but going back to issues of shame and insecurity that stem from our youth, we often have a hard time trusting that we are good enough.

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From this destructive flaw we then end up projecting our neuroses onto our partners, and find ourselves jealous for no reason. Even if we are lucky enough to find someone special and start dating, jealousy can creep within the relationship. Mix in a lack of communication, which as men we are more likely to be bad at, and it's a recipe for disaster.

While it can feel like dating, and ultimately finding someone amazing is impossible in the gay world, we have to remain optimistic if we really do want to find someone. Now more than ever, strong committed gay couples exist in public spheres, which means there are examples of what we can have.

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We need to stop perpetuating the idea that all the good ones are either taken, straight, or live far away. The language we use when talking about dating needs to be positive and upbeat, and we have to stop confusing proper courting with endless casual sex.

We need to stop using every excuse in the book, and start working on ourselves because we aren't perfect either. We need to stop looking past the amazing men that are right in front of our faces, and start understanding that the sex part of a relationship will evolve. In the end, we'll ultimately be looking for a best friend, a companion to build a full life with, and maybe one day move away from all the craziness with. If we are lucky enough to meet someone with whom our souls connect in an effortless way, we need to water that relationship because it is rare.

Gay dating is really hard, but nothing worth having comes easy, so lead with love and positivity, and more than anything just be open to what could be. On more than one occasion, I didn't feel like I belong here. We certainly don't fit the local demographic, that's for sure. On Sunday, when Chris and I left the house to get in the car to drive to Port Coquitlam, I noticed a man on the other side of the street, walking a large dog and turning to look at us repeatedly.

10 Reasons Why Gay Dating Is Really Hard

I wouldn't call what he was doing "cruising," but his interest in us was unmistakable. And when one man shows an interest in another man--that is, repeatedly looks at him, and they don't know each other--then there's a good chance one or more of them is gay. As we pulled away from the front of the house, I turned in the front passenger seat to look at the man.

He was looking at us through the rear window of the car as we drove away, and was that a smile I saw on his face?

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All of this helped me to believe that other gay people live in our neighborhood, somewhere, and that Chris and I aren't the only ones, which I found both comforting and frustrating. It isn't easy for gay people to meet each other, even on a social level, and I wondered if the man had a partner himself, and if the two of them felt isolated in a heterosexual neighborhood, and if they'd like to meet us as much as we'd like to meet them. Maybe we'd become good friends and spend time with each other on weekends, going out for dinner, seeing a movie, enjoying walks along the Fraser River.

Chris and I have always wanted to meet other monogamous, gay male couples, and we've been fortunate enough that that's happened--with Chris my former boss and his partner Justin, and Steve and Mike who now live in Saskatoonand Bill and Lloyd the older gay couple I wrote about previously. But, as far as having friendships that bloomed into people we could get together with on a regular basis for outings and good times, that hasn't happened, and, to a large degree, that's isolated Chris and me from the rest of the gay community.