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Trying to meet other Japanese in London? Get to know our community of Japanese in London✓ Attend events for Japanese✓ Join for free. How a love of Japan led me to stop dating its women to lend his support to the London exhibition of a Japanese artist called Yoko Ono, and I have no particular problem with the combination of Japanese girls and Western. More than just a dating site, we find compatible Japanese matches for you. At eHarmony, we know that finding compatible Japanese singles, in London and.
When I told him that my significant other was Australian, he laughed at my eccentricity and remarked that in his experience, 90 percent of Western male scholars of Japan, when they had a wife, tended to have a Japanese one.
Nearly all the heterosexual Western men I know in Japan have Japanese wives. Indeed, the overwhelming attraction of Western men to Japanese women has over the past 50 years been much commented on. In Japan, Western men have a cachet that seems to far exceed that of Western women, whose romantic life in Japan may perhaps be less advantageous.
But I do not want to get into too much trouble playing with stereotypes.
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There are plenty of Western women who find life partners in Japan. Such women are often adventurous, and it is that which can make them exceptionally attractive. However, it is the Western geeky male who genuinely believes he has hit the romantic jackpot in Japan. Feminists understandably tut and roll their eyes at the depiction of Japanese women as passive and obedient sirens of sexuality, and occasionally cite the combination of Japanese women and Western men as a classic example of conservative gender roles and cultural stereotyping.
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Is the fact that I have rejected such a union a sign I crave liberated Western women — even the extreme, ballsy Australian variety — over retiring Japanese girls? I have no particular problem with the combination of Japanese girls and Western men — and yet long ago I found myself living in Japan and never dating Japanese women.DATING A JAPANESE GIRL
You might think at this point I am about to revert to the standard narrative that the cultural background of a partner should be irrelevant when you meet Mr. But actually I am going to argue the reverse: I admire the grace and beauty of Japanese women and am more than aware of their considerable diversity, from demure kimono-clad Kyoto ladies to the unfettered, boisterous personalities so associated with Osaka.
I realize you can find everything in Japanese womanhood, from power-dressing politicians and brilliant authors to tech entrepreneurs. If my circumstances in life were slightly different — if, say, I was living in a Western country working for a Western firm, or if I was looking to form a bridge to Japanese culture — I have no doubt that having a Japanese partner would add a fascinating extra dimension to my life.
The reason, however, that long ago I found myself seldom aspiring to be in a relationship with Japanese girls has to do with the manner in which I connect with Japan itself, a culture in which I have always searched for a version of personal freedom.
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Somewhere in the cultural differences between Japan and the West I felt that I could define my own personal sense of self. Having a Japanese partner, I repeatedly discovered, unbalanced this sense of freedom. No longer was I in control of my relationship with Japan; now I tended to feel more like a prisoner in a relationship with a foreign culture from which I could not escape. The only way I could truly enjoy and develop my love for Japan, I concluded, was by excluding my love life from that cultural relationship.
Let me take you back to the beginning, though, when in my mids I came to study and live in Japan as a graduate student. Like so many other Western men in Japan, I soon discovered that at the age of 25 I was dating a drop-dead gorgeous Japanese girl of such loveliness that I had to pinch myself to believe she could be interested in my shabbily dressed self.
Having endured undergraduate years in England where I was barely able to find a girlfriend of any description, this sudden transformation of fortunes should perhaps have been enough to have immediately made me seal the deal with the heavenly Japanese girlfriend, who was only too keen to settle down together.
But somehow I dithered, feeling correctly that my romantic career was only just beginning. There were several reasons why I started losing interest in dating Japanese women, but the main one was my deepening involvement with Japanese culture. By then I felt quite comfortable — indeed, slightly bored — in an exclusively Japanese world. Someone who is positive and friendly. A person who smile's allot and has a zest for life. Queenofhearts3131 y. I currently live and work in New Orleans Louisiana and just bought my own house.
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