Human Relations and Other Difficulties: badz.info: Mary-Kay Wilmers: Books
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Nevertheless, continued growth and development will occur during this time.
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Mutual trust is important for sustaining the relationship. Deterioration — Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of trouble. Boredom, resentment, and dissatisfaction may occur, and individuals may communicate less and avoid self-disclosure.
Loss of trust and betrayals may take place as the downward spiral continues, eventually ending the relationship.
Alternately, the participants may find some way to resolve the problems and reestablish trust and belief in others. Ending — The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by breakups, death, or by spatial separation for quite some time and severing all existing ties of either friendship or romantic love.
Terminating a relationship[ edit ] According to the latest Systematic Review of the Economic Literature on the Factors associated with Life Satisfaction dating fromstable and secure relationships are beneficial, and correspondingly, relationship dissolution is harmful. Breaking up can actually be a positive experience when the relationship did not expand the self and when the breakup leads to personal growth.
They also recommend some ways to cope with the experience: Purposefully focussing on the positive aspects of the breakup "factors leading up to the break-up, the actual break-up, and the time right after the break-up" Minimising the negative emotions Journaling the positive aspects of the breakup e. This exercise works best, although not exclusively, when the breakup is mutual. Furthermore, rebound relationships don't last any shorter than regular relationships. One reason cited for divorce is infidelity.
The determinants of unfaithfulness are debated by dating service providers, feminists, academics and science communicators. Conversely, costs are the negative or unpleasant aspects of the partner or their relationship. Comparison level includes what each partner expects of the relationship. The comparison level is influenced by past relationships, and general relationship expectations they are taught by family and friends.
Individuals in long-distance relationshipsLDRs, rated their relationships as more satisfying than individuals in proximal relationship, PRs. LDR couples reported the same level of relationship satisfaction as couples in PRs, despite only seeing each other on average once every 23 days. Therefore, the costs and benefits of the relationship are subjective to the individual, and people in LDRs tend to report lower costs and higher rewards in their relationship compared to PRs.
Background[ edit ] While traditional psychologists specializing in close relationships have focused on relationship dysfunction, positive psychology argues that relationship health is not merely the absence of relationship dysfunction.
Additionally, healthy relationships can be made to "flourish. A social skills approach posits that individuals differ in their degree of communication skill, which has implications for their relationships. Relationships in which partners possess and enact relevant communication skills are more satisfying and stable than relationships in which partners lack appropriate communication skills.
Adult attachment models represent an internal set of expectations and preferences regarding relationship intimacy that guide behavior. Within the context of safe, secure attachments, people can pursue optimal human functioning and flourishing. Secure individuals are comfortable with intimacy and interdependence and are usually optimistic and social in everyday life. Securely attached individuals usually use their partners for emotion regulation so they prefer to have their partners in close proximity.
Interpersonal relationship - Wikipedia
Preoccupied people are normally uneasy and vigilant towards any threat to the relationship and tend to be needy and jealous. Dismissing individuals are low on anxiety over abandonment and high in avoidance of intimacy. Dismissing people are usually self-reliant and uninterested in intimacy and are independent and indifferent towards acquiring romantic partners.
They are very fearful of rejection, mistrustful of others, and tend to be suspicious and shy in everyday life. Attachment styles are created during childhood but can adapt and evolve to become a different attachment style based on individual experiences. On the contrary, a good romantic relationship can take a person from an avoidant attachment style to more of a secure attachment style. Romantic love The capacity for love gives depth to human relationships, brings people closer to each other physically and emotionally, and makes people think expansively about themselves and the world.
Attraction — Premeditated or automatic, attraction can occur between acquaintances, coworkers, lovers, etc. Studies have shown that attraction can be susceptible to influence based on context and externally induced arousal, with the caveat that participants be unaware of the source of their arousal. A study by Cantor, J.
As supported by a series of studies, Zillman and colleagues showed that a preexisting state of arousal can heighten reactions to affective stimuli. One commonly studied factor is physical proximity also known as propinquity.
The MIT Westgate studies famously showed that greater physical proximity between incoming students in a university residential hall led to greater relationship initiation. Another important factor in the initiation of new relationships is similarity. Put simply, individuals tend to be attracted to and start new relationships with those who are similar to them. These similarities can include beliefs, rules, interests, culture, education, etc. Individuals seek relationships with like others because like others are most likely to validate shared beliefs and perspectives, thus facilitating interactions that are positive, rewarding and without conflict.
Development — Development of interpersonal relationships can be further split into committed versus non-committed romantic relationships, which have different behavioral characteristics.
More committed relationships by both genders were characterized by greater resource display, appearance enhancement, love and care, and verbal signs of possession. It arises from our inherent desire to extend ourselves and our identities into the world and things we love and cherish. The best way to deal with your relationships is to be relationship proof.
You must be strong enough not to be hurt by your relationships. You must be wise enough to absorb the shocks and surprises that arise from them. You must be smart enough to get the best out of them and also be prepared for the worse, which may happen as people and circumstances change and as you yourself change. In life, we all need to pay a price for our relationships and we must be willing to pay it when the time comes, without feeling oppressed, wronged or disturbed.
We must be realistic enough to admit that relationships are usually between two people who have their own minds, views, opinions, interests, preferences and prejudices.
We cannot change others, control them, or coerce them without losing some of our own humanity or decency. Some relationships are so destructive that people who get into them eventually lose their humanity and their sense of right and wrong. Human nature is like a flickering flame.
You can only go that much closer to a person. Beyond that, you will be burned. You should always be aware of the invisible barriers that exist between people, however close they may presume themselves to be.
You cross those boundaries and you will be violating one of the cardinal principles of human relationships. People do not like you if they feel that you do not respect their privacy or their personal space. This is not cynicism. This is the truth. Who gives you maximum pain and suffering in the world? Usually it is your closest friends and relations, whom you love and think as your own.
Why does it happen?
It happens because in close relationships we tend to forget the personal barriers and overstep into the sensitive areas where people may feel hurt or vulnerable.
While dealing with close relations, we also tend to lower our defenses and bare our hearts and souls to others. In the process, we show others our true feelings or the darker side of our basic human nature. No one is an exception to these situations.
Human Relations and Other Difficulties by Mary-Kay Wilmers – review | Books | The Guardian
We tend to lose our balance in close relationships and in the process we hurt others or feel hurt by them. Human nature is a mixture of contradictions, most of which we try to conceal from the world, until we find our match. None should be blamed for this, because the problem is not with a particular individual, but the way we are created and molded by Nature and circumstances.
Your emotions tend to overwhelm you when you are vulnerable and you are very vulnerable in the company of your near and dear. Some relationships last for a little while. Some may last longer; but in the end, all relationships tend to lose their initial appeal. Hindu tradition recognizes this fact very well. So do Buddhism and Jainism. The phenomenal world is unstable.Connect or Die: The Surprising Power of Human Relationships - Starla Fitch - TEDxFargo
Hence, they call it samsara and advise people to be aware of desire and attachment and not to expect too much from it. Buddhism advises people to renounce the world and follow the Middle Path as and when they realize the significance of the Four Noble Truths and their implication to human life.
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- Human Relations and Other Difficulties by Mary-Kay Wilmers – review
Hinduism lets people experiment with their lives and actions until they grow tired of it. It suggests that when people reach a certain age or stage in their lives, they should renounce the world and retire from all the worldly activity to live in isolation, in the contemplation of God and in search of liberation.
If you are wise enough, you will perhaps start doing it much earlier in your life. Relationships are not set in stone. They are like pieces of glass. Handle them with care and when they are broken, decide whether you want to walk away or compromise.
For a worldly person, a relationship is either a necessity or an obligation; but for a spiritual person a relationship is an opportunity to perfect himself by learning valuable lessons, improving his knowledge and awareness and cultivating detachment. He does not shun relationships, but whenever he thinks of a relationship, he keeps reminding himself, "Even this will fade away!