Obsessing about narcissist relationship

obsessing about narcissist relationship

This poignant myth crystallizes the problem of relationships with narcissists. Sadly Unable to get Narcissus's attention, Echo's obsession and depression grew. The extent to which he hadn't forgotten her was obsessive. Those who have a been in a relationship with a narcissist will be treated to a. When you are stuck in the agonising thoughts about the narcissist, simple The more you obsess, the harder and stronger the energy of the narcissist is in . When you heal your relationship with yourself, truly your children.

All of our problems are your fault. No one would ever put up with your crap like I do. All of your friends are losers. It was my bad luck to have met you.

Melanie Tonia Evans

Aside from being a form of domestic abuse, these comments are not only meant to take away your self-esteem, they are part of intentional, strategic psychological torture. Mayer, who would later become the U. He was particularly interested in examining one of the most extreme and perversely effective cases of psychological warfare on record — one that had a devastating impact on its subjects.

American soldiers had been detained in camps that were not especially cruel. They were given adequate food, water, and shelter. In fact, fewer cases of physical abuse were reported in the North Korean POW camps than in other prison camps during major military conflict. Why then did so many American soldiers die in these camps?

Yet no soldier ever tried to escape. When the survivors were released to a Red Cross camp, they were given the chance to call loved ones…very few bothered to make the call.

Why Victims of Narcissists Can't Let Go the Narcissist?

Mayer discovered a new disease in the POW camps — a disease of extreme hopelessness. It was not uncommon for a soldier to wander into his hut, go in a corner, sit down, pull a blanket over his head, and die within two days.

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How did this happen? The one that your Narcissist uses against you every day. Withholding all positive emotional support Criticism They used negativity in its purest and most malicious form. If a soldier received a supportive letter from home, the captors withheld it. They also delivered overdue bills from collection agencies.

The soldiers had nothing to live for and lost basic belief in themselves and their loved ones, not to mention God and country. The narcissist was the character of Marnie, and her victim was the character of Charlie.

She breaks up with him in typical narcissistic discard fashion, and moves on quickly to someone else, someone better. But then she finds out that Charlie has moved on too, and this infuriates her.

obsessing about narcissist relationship

She actually states that she expects him to be heartbroken and pining for her and the love that he lost when she left him for many years to come, maybe forever never to get over her. In some ways the only way a narcissist can feel love is when that love hurts. They can only feel your love for them when your love for them hurts you… then they know that you truly love them, that they are really loved.

Love, for them, is an unrequited longing. A yearning for an intense pleasure which is always just beyond reach. It makes them special. It makes others special too… for awhile. So much so that when it gets taken away it leaves you with an intense searing pain that borders on the obsessive.

Chances are that you never thought or felt as much for and about your narcissist until they hurt you in a way that no one has ever hurt you before and ever will. It cut you to the core. Whether they discarded you or you escaped from them, you will never be able to forget them, and for a long time you will be obsessed with them.

Being obsessed with a narcissist is a normal part of the experience of a relationship with a narcissist. Did the narcissist use black magic to cast a spell on you? The harder you try not to think about them, the more you think about them.

You were almost free of them… but something pulled you back in.

Why You Need To Get The Narcissist Out Of Your Head | Melanie Tonia Evans

Almost… is a big feature of the lexicon of a relationship with a narcissist. It is an intrinsic part of the narcissistic wound, and the wound gets passed onto you when you have a relationship with them. Their wound has a way of opening up wounds inside of us, sometimes because we have a similar wound. Almost… is something which haunts and hurts all of us in some way.

You had the perfect love with your narcissist before that word became their name.

obsessing about narcissist relationship

They were your ideal person. You were their ideal person. Then all of that changed and became a nightmare of almosts which almost drive you insane.

You almost had the perfect love.

obsessing about narcissist relationship

You almost found your ideal person. You were almost their ideal person. A relationship with a narcissist turns us into Narcissus.

Are You Obsessed with a Narcissist? – An Upturned Soul

At first by making us fall in love with our reflection in their eyes. Later on that reflection changes. Bit by bit our beauty gets chipped away.

Their eyes darken, clouds gather. The sun which shone upon us like a warm and blindingly euphoric spotlight slowly vanishes behind a dark cloud. Our reflection shifts from the light into shadow, until the shadow eats up the light completely. Until all we see when we look in their eyes is a reflection of ourselves which terrifies us.

Just one more glance of that special vision of us which they showed us, which they used to see and which we saw because of them… But the more we seek to find what has gone, the less we see. The greatest trick the devil ever played was making us fall in love with ourselves as seen through the eyes of a narcissist. Are you obsessed with your narcissist because of them or because of yourself? Is it because of what they did to you or because of what you did to yourself?

A relationship with a narcissist brings us face to face with the narcissistic parts of ourselves, and as long as we refuse to look at what is there, avert our eyes and look elsewhere for a reflection which we prefer to see, we will be trapped in the pond of a past addicted to lost love and the pain of it all… until pain is all we feel, and feel intensely. Writing letters to someone who will never read them. But who are we really writing those letters to? Who or what are we really obsessed about?

And what is the true purpose of that obsession? Do we really want to hurt ourselves with it or are we trying to help ourselves? How can an obsession help you?